Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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