Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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