I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize