my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
