You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
