the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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