It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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