All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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