1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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