She is in my trunk
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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