its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
