kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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