Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I need a beard to bite.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
