I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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