Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
