His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
