Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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