i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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