highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
