Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
