the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
is it fun? or sober?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
