I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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