yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
