He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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