I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
