Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
