So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
