is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
