is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
