If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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