I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
