she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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