i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
