Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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