Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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