just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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