I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So many bounce houses so little time
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
