I bet he comes in French.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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