He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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