he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
