do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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