Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Too much gin, very little bucket
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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