If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
