Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So I just went to clothing optional bar
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
