so that wasnt chicken after all
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
