Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You have to summon your inner elephant
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
