Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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