Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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