but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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