Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
