everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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