my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
