maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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