i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
