It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
