Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
