Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
