bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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