You made me cry and you don't even care
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
