Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
