Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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