Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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